Stolen Samsung Warning
Lawyers acting on behalf of Samsung are reminding us not to sell you any of their batteries in case they’re used for anything and order us to warn you about stolen batteries because reasons
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by Dave Cross
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Keystone Law has previously written to Planet of the Vapes, delivering us with a ‘Cease & Desist’ instruction (“in conjunction with the Office of Product Safety & Standards”), “to stop the use of Samsung Lithium-ion batteries in vaping and e-cigarette devices.”
The law firm didn’t explain how Planet of the Vapes can achieve this single-handedly – nor why it is our responsibility to end the use of li-ion cells in vape devices or what makes their lithium batteries different to the swathe of other lithium batteries used in vape mods.
So, don’t use Samsung batteries in your vape mods or anything.
Fresh from the pointless threatening, Keystone Law has now asked for our assistance in sharing a message about a stolen consignment of li-ion cells, because “Planet of the Vapes is uniquely placed to help spread this message to your users to ensure the safety of the vape community.” Uniquely placed, but confused because the firm also says the letter is “private and confidential”.
The confusion continues.
“We are writing to you as a vape retailer, distributor, supplier or an organisation in the vape industry to notify you of the theft and to warn against dealing in any way with the stolen batteries,” the lawyers say.
Planet of the Vapes is not a vape retailer, distributor, supplier or an organisation in the vape industry. Keystone Law needs to look at https://www.planetofthevapes.co.uk/.
“We are writing to you now,” the lawyers continue, “because we are aware a large shipment of Samsung Lithium-ion single cell batteries has been stolen while in transit in the UK which may now be in the supply chain.”
The letter goes on: “As you know, Samsung lithium-ion batteries are not designed or manufactured for use as a single cell. They are only to be used as part of the Samsung manufactured battery pack. This unapproved use can cause significant personal injury and property damage. For example, if a single cell is carried in a pocket with a coin, a thermal runaway can cause fire and explosion.”
In bold and a nice shade of red, Keystone Law tells us: “You must not sell Samsung lithium-ion single cell batteries for vaping or any other use.”
Well, we promise not to sell you any Samsung cells for use in vaping or anything. Or anything else come to that given that Planet of the Vapes doesn’t sell anything at all.
That’s what we must not do covered, now for what Samsung’s lawyers tell us we “must do”.
“If you or your users have or are offered Samsung Lithium-ion single cell batteries, we set out here how you can identify if they are from the stolen shipment,” they continue.
Oh, watch out, there’s more bold, red writing: “You must notify us immediately if you have or are aware of the whereabouts of the stolen batteries.”
The letter then repeats the cease and desist instruction and warns us a second time about stolen batteries.
Keystone Law warns: “Any sellers dealing in these stolen batteries will be met with the full force of the law, including Court proceedings and injunctive action in addition to any criminal proceedings by the Police.”
Identifying the Stolen Batteries
“Each Samsung battery has its own Lot Information marked on the surface of the battery.”
A poster supplied for POTV to display in the warehouse we don’t have:
Batteries with any of the below lot numbers are stolen:
- S48X+ M94B1
- S48X+ M93A1
- S48X+ M91A1
- S48X+ M96C1
In conclusion:
- We must cease and desist from selling you something we don’t sell because we don’t sell anything
- We must stop the use of Samsung batteries in vape mods because it’s our job to do Samsung’s job for them - so just don't, OK?
- Samsung li-ion cells are unlike any other li-ion cell making them uniquely unsuitable for vaping
- We must display a poster about this in the warehouse we don’t have
- Keystone Law is on the ball and a great law firm
Dave Cross
Journalist at POTVDave is a freelance writer; with articles on music, motorbikes, football, pop-science, vaping and tobacco harm reduction in Sounds, Melody Maker, UBG, AWoL, Bike, When Saturday Comes, Vape News Magazine, and syndicated across the Johnston Press group. He was published in an anthology of “Greatest Football Writing”, but still believes this was a mistake. Dave contributes sketches to comedy shows and used to co-host a radio sketch show. He’s worked with numerous start-ups to develop content for their websites.
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